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Posts Tagged ‘magic’

Hey there, I’m back home again after a couple of hours of hard work, and I thought I should tell you a little bit more about that strange event last night.

First of all, let me say this: I’m pretty sure this was a so-called “supernatural” event. Not that it isn’t natural… I just mean I really can’t find a physical reason for those dark drops to have ended up on me. I was inside in a perfectly dry room. No open windows, no condensation above. I was sitting perfectly still and couldn’t have knocked something over or anything, and I was alone in the room (my Husband was on the second floor) so there was no-one there who could have been teasing. The drops literally came out of nowhere.

 

Ok, making the assumption that the whole thing was somehow spiritually connected, there are now a number of questions floating in my mind. My gut reaction right after it happened was to sit down an meditate, and see if anything came up. Using the runes to ask for answers also felt like a good idea.

 

So I sat down and went into meditation, trying to reach both Mother and Father. And also Freya, since she’s come to me recently with some insights. With closed eyes I fingered my bag of runes, and started to ask questions.

Those dark drops… what were they? 

I drew three runes: Ansuz – Wunjo – Thurisaz

The first rune confirms the spiritual nature of the whole event, signalling that they originated in the spiritual or divine realm, and that they might even have been a message. Wunjo points at joy and positive energy, or even love. Thurisaz is connected with male energy, a violent reaction, destruction or change. And of course, the mystical being called the thurs. All together, Ansuz-Wunjo-Thurisaz, the message seems to be rather potent. I’m still reluctant to write up a summary just yet, so hold on.

Next question. From whom?  

Laguz

Laguz, how appropriate. Basically, it means water. However, just as water in itself is rich in symbolic value, laguz has too. I realize that I formulated my question badly, not being clear on if I meant “who is talking to me now?” or “who sent me the dark drops?” So I asked again, wanting to clear it up.

Who is sending me this information now? Who am I talking to?

Ansuz – Týr

I can’t help smiling. Týr literally means “god”, though it most often refers to the god Týr. As I spontaneously felt for Týr, wondering if it really was him, I got a nice little surprise. A nice tug of recognition, and I realized that Týr is Father. I felt embraced in warm and comforting light. And with the combination ansuz-tyr I felt pretty happy.

So the Laguz I got earlier, am I right to assume that it referred to the origin of the drops, where they came from?

Dagaz

I can only interpret that as a yes, that’s right. (Dagaz representing dawn, insights and breakthroughs)

 

If the drops were a message, what did they mean? 

Algiz

Protection? Algiz is also often described as representing the actual link between humans and divine beings, as such also being connected to spiritual awakening and a higher life.

 

There is one more thing to consider before making any assumptions as to the point of the whole thing. What was I doing when it happened? What was I thinking at the moment?

As I said in this morning’s blog post, the drops appeared as I was reading a website about religion, destiny and messengers in the (absolutely amazing) sci-fi series Battlestar Galactica (seriously, it’s an incredible series and everyone should see it!!!). I was pondering the nature of oracles and occult practices. And just before the first drop appeared I asked myself if it was time for me to offer runic divinations to other people. So far I’ve only done it for myself and my mom, since I haven’t felt competent enough to go public, so to say. But maybe it is time?

Five seconds later the first drop ran down over the computer screen, and a couple of seconds later more drops splashed down on my right leg.

I can’t help thinking the dark drops were a reaction to that which I was thinking and asking myself. Combine that with the indications given by the runes, I’d say it’s pretty certain. Where did the drops come from? Or perhaps the question should have been WHERE did they come from? Laguz, the astral plane. Laguz, spiritual powers. Laguz, the unconscious mind. Laguz, the hidden.

It almost feels as if the dark drops where physical manifestation of that which is Laguz. A little part of the hidden powers dripping into our physical world.

What was that? Ansuz-Wunjo-Thurisaz. A divine message, of joy and great change. Happy thurs. The positive side of the dangerous force that is thurs?

What was the message, what did it all mean? My gut feeling is that there is no great message, but more of a confirmation that a link is established between me and the astral. Algiz, the link between humans and divine beings.

As such, I think I have my answer. I asked if I was ready to serve and use whatever skill I have in divination, to help others communicate with the divine. I think the answer is yes.

 

That is my gut feeling about all of this weirdness. Does it sound plausible or am I reading way too much into this? Do you have any other interpretations? I am in no way certain of it all, I’m just trying to make sense of a totally weird experience which even threw my scientist and non-believer of a husband (he seemed almost worried, and joked that we were being haunted, but his voice actually sounded kinda serious.)

And if anyone of you want to be my first guinea-pig for runic divination,  raise your hand or shout out loud or send me smoke signals or something. I think it’s time I start doing this.

Love and light

/Journeymaid

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Let’s talk about bugs again. This time it wont be mosquitoes though, I promise. And heads up, there is some santería related stuff in here, and I would LOVE to receive comments from those of you who are more learned than me in that particular religion.

I just read this blog post over at Mystical bewilderment, which was about spirit bugs or bugs being used as spiritual warnings, which made me think about something that my mom experienced a couple of years ago.

Me and my mom wre on Cuba, experiencing the not-so-touristic sides of Havana. We were there as a part of a cultural exchange project, focused on dance. For years I had practiced afro-cuban dance and this was a way for my dance group to get over there and learn more, dancing with one of the local dance companies. Since the dancing revolved around Santería it also came natural to learn more about the religion, and one of the favourite moments of the trip was when we attended a “birthday celebration” in which there was lots of food, lots of dancing, lots of sacred drumming and people going in and out of trances. Crazy cool.

On the last day in Havana, my mom took a short walk through the local market. An old man suddenly came up to her. The man held up a wooden staff in front of mom, and said that she was going to buy it from him. Now mom isn’t easily fooled by street merchants , but as she described it afterwards this old man seemed so very… weird. He was so serious . It seemed important. So she gave the man some money and received the staff.

Later that day we were moving out and going back to the airport. The leader of our group, our teacher and choreographer who is also a santera, caught sight of the wooden staff in mom’s hand. She froze, staring at the staff and looking slightly shocked. She asked mom where she’d gotten it, and shook her head in disbelief.

The staff is about the size of a walking cane, but thicker and shaped a bit differently with a bug knob at the top. It’s painted all over in bright colours, and at the top knob there is an eye. My dance teacher explained that this kind of staff is used in specific rituals, very dark and dangerous rituals about death. Such a staff would NEVER be sold to a tourist just like that, which was why it made her so shocked to see it in mom’s hand.

So what about the bug? Well, we came home. The staff was placed in the living room. It made mom feel uncomfortable, and it had the same effect on me though not as strong. But it felt scary. So we didn’t touch it much, it just needed to be there. Then all hell broke loose in our lives as my grandpa died and our family broke apart. It was a time of heightened emotions as well as spiritual experiences, as both me and mom seemed to be going through a sensitive period.

One night when I wasn’t at home, mom was woken up by her two cats making an unusual amount of noise. She went out to the living room and found both cats intently watching the wooden staff. Mom took a closer look.

On top of the knob there was a huge bug. An unusually big and veeery colourful beetle. It had the same colours as the staff it was sitting on. As mom looked at it, it flew up and crossed to room, eventually landing on top of an old cupboard (almost 100 years old, that used to belong to my mom’s grandparents).

Mom told me about what had happened as soon as I came home the next day. We went looking for it, but it was nowhere to be seen, though I could see traces of it in the dust on top of the cupboard. We went on to look up every kind of beetle known to exist in Sweden, and found nothing even remotely close to what mom had seen. Too many colours, too big. It just shouldn’t have been there.

Mom is still convinced that the bug was physically there, but that it had to have something to do with the creepy magical staff. I tend to agree. Not sure how it all connects though, and what it means. Most of all, I would love to learn more about what that staff really IS. Ever heard of anything like it? As I wrote in the start, we were told it was the kind used in rare and dangerous rituals of death.  Does it ring a bell to any of you?

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How did this work?

Ok, here’s a little conundrum I’ve been pondering…

It was summer. I was just a young teen, being harassed by mosquitoes ALL the time and getting LOTS of bites. Finally, one evening, I got sick of it. When the next mosquito landed on my arm and bit me, I just looked at it. And I spoke, from the bottom of my heart: “Hey, you! Let’s make a deal. If you and the rest of your species will just leave me alone, I promise not to hurt any of you.” 

I carefully blew the mosquito off my arm and went to bed. 

And for the next five years not a single mosquito bit me. Not one. Other kinds of insects still did, but not mosquitoes. Not even when in the most mosquito-infested areas where the people around me got heaps of bites.

Then one day, I accidentally killed a mosquito. I didn’t see it sitting on the back of a chair, and I leaned right on it. And just like that, the mosquitoes started biting me again. It’s been some 7-8 years now since then, and though I’ve tried to make a new deal it just wont work again. I just keep getting bitten.

Now here’s what I’ve been pondering. What really happened when I made that first deal? Did I actually connect with the mosquitoes in some way, or the “mosquito spirit”, or did I in fact make a kind of spontaneous spell that really had nothing to do with the bugs in question? What do you think?

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Me and Hubby might be in trouble here. Deep trouble. We’ve got a piece of land (check!). We talked to the authorities about all the permits many months ago and they said everything would be fine and dandy by mid may – at the very latest (check!). We’ve ordered a house to be built at the end of summer (check).

So what could possibly go wrong? Huh. Turns out you can’t trust the authorities to make a trustworthy assessment of this kind of issue. They messed things up, of course they messed things up. Nothing we can do about it, all the paperwork is done and everything is in order BUT the authorities just haven’t closed the case, and now they are saying that if we’re lucky it MIGHT be done by the end of june. WTF?!

We shouldn’t have trusted the authorities judgement of when the whole thing would be done and the permits would be in our hands. We were naive, and now we might be financially ruined if the house building company decides it’s too late to push up the delivery date. This is bad. Really bad. Like nightmarishly bad, our dream home and economical future is hanging in the balance.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I will petition the gods and ask for their help, beg them to help speed up the permit process. I am also thinking of trying to influence the process on a magical level, I just gotta figure out how. And that’s where I’m asking you for help. What kind of ritual would you suggest? Any other pointers?

It might not work, I know. But at this point I am desperate and I’d rather try too much than too little.

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When I came home yesterday I walked by a man working on the grounds surrounding our apartment. He had cut down a hedge and had piled it all up on a cart, to be driven off and discarded. It was just around the corner from my home, and as I walked past him I smiled and said “hi”. He smiled right back at me. Internally all I could think of was how much I wanted him to clear away the pile of branches laying in out garden (the pile even contained the remnants of a christmas tree!), right in front of our porch…

For an instance I imagined myself asking him to do so, but of course it was just out of the question. It’s our garden, it’s our mess, our responsibility!

As me and my hubby went out a couple of hours later we stopped short right outside the door. The pile of branches along with the dead christmas tree – all gone. For  a moment we just stood there and stared! =)

I wonder if I inadvertently projected my wish to that man, telepathically. Or if it was a case of “ask and you shall receive”, courtesy of the gods or the universe or whatever. Or if that man in fact is naturally sensitive which made him pick up on my thoughts?

I don’t know, perhaps it was a mix of all those alternatives. What I can say is, when I think back on what I was thinking as I walked by the man, without really reflecting on it I formulated my wish clearly, as if I had actually spoken the words. In a super short flash of time I imagined myself asking him to please clear away our pile of branches as well. I don’t know why, but I tend to do that, almost as a test of how a certain conversation might play out before actually saying anything out loud.

Anyhow, I’m glad to have gotten rid of the trash. So to whoever you are, thank you for doing me that favor!

Love and light!

/Journeymaid

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There is one concept that I keep stumbling onto. Still, I have not yet given it a serious try. But… as I keep seeing references to it, I am starting to think I should take it a bit more seriously.

Have I got snow on my head?

Some time ago, I mentioned a very special experience I had as a young teen. It seems like I had a spontaneous obe in which I… well, I seem to have gotten to a place where I wasn’t supposed to be. Because this oh-so-powerful being sent me back, crash and bang. It’s all described in here:

https://myinnerpath.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/god-godess-mother-earth-angels/

The day after that experience I was thinking, and thinking, and thinking. While going about my everyday business my mind was somewhere else, totally immersed in the conundrum of who I had met and what the experience really meant. And I thought about magic.

While sitting on a bus I put the question out there: could I do real magic?

Somehow, I got a whispered reply. At that moment I interpreted it as coming from the being that I had encountered in my obe, but I really don’t know about that.

He told me that yes, I could do anything.

But how?

He said the answer lie in complete awareness.

He let me understand that if I could reach true and complete awareness all the time I could manipulate the world around me in ways that to the ordinary human seems impossible. In other words, magic.

At this point I got a bit scared. To me, it seemed like complete awareness would force me to give up fantasies. After all, while immersed in a fantasy one is not as aware of the surroundings! And following on that thought, I got a thought that really gave me the chills. I wondered if complete and utter awareness wouldn’t eliminate empathy?

In my mind I saw a scenario that scared me. I saw myself with all kinds of magic powers, but without the ability to relly feel. Hurriedly, I told the being no. I’d rather keep my ability to fantasize, to place myself in other people’s situations and feel, than have magic powers. And after my clear no, the being disappeared.

Since then, the concept of mindfullness has gotten pretty popular. Which really is just a fancy word for being aware. I’ve even got a book on the subject, which I got from my mom this christmas.

Now the last couple of weeks, I have read a whole lot about different methods of how to achieve hightened spiritual abilities. Yes, magic. And somehow, all excercises seem to include a very important part: awareness.

I’ve been trying to find a link to the site I was reading on the other day, which held such a good example of this, but noooo… can’t find it. But it was about so called Chaos magic, and held practical excercises to sharpen the mind and prepare for magic. And what did those excercises start out with? Sitting back and noticing everything. Just being aware.

This morning I followed the link provided by Xanth, in a comment to a previous blog post of mine. The blog post was about how to have and OBE, and Xanth referred to the concept of phasing. Following the links I got to exercises, meant to eventually lead to OBEs. And guess what? It’s all about being aware.

As you surely already know, Buddhist meditation is also all about awareness. Being completely immersed in the now.

That first thing I mentioned, the message from the unknown entity telling me that the road to magic and spiritual abilities lies in complete awareness… I was just a kid. The modern mindfulness hadn’t even been invented. And I still thought meditation was all about NOT being aware, to just float away in the mind… So the message truly came out of the blue, and I am convinced it was a true spiritual message from a source that probably knew what it was talking about.

And remember that the thought that complete awareness would lead to a loss of the ability to fantasize and empathize was just my own conclusion…

I’m thinking I really should give this awareness thing a serious try.

 

Oh, on a side note… Last night when I couldn’t sleep I did a tiny little mental exercise. I simply tried to notice any images or thoughts that happened to float through my mind, but without getting stuck in it. Sigh… Isn’t one supposed to get basic darkness in which glimpses of things appear? Huh. I get a solid stream of images with the occational glimpses of darkness. Kinda tiresome to keep noticing all, actually. I guess I need a bit of practice…

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I decided to consecrate my runes today, after all. I didn’t really like letting them lay around unfinished, yet I’ve been hesitating to do any kind of energy work now that I’m ill. Finally, I decided to do the consecration as planned, but taking it easy and not try to raise energy the way I’ve done in the past.

I mixed my blessed oil with ashes of three bay leaves that I just burned, freshly ground cinnamon and a bit of pepper (rose coloured peppercorns). Bay leaves and cinnamon for divination, wisdom and psychic powers. Pepper for strength.

I then used a needle to draw some blood, just above/to the side of my left knee. Why there? I don’t know really, it just felt right. The tiny wound bled more that I had though, and I hurried to scrape up as much as possible and mix it with the herbs and oil.

(Of course I was very careful to clean the needle in advance, and also held it in a naked flame right before using it to kill of anything nasty. I also cleaned the spot where I was going to poke myself with a desinfectant, both before and after actually, and it’s now covered by a sort of liquid band-aid. Sounds weird but it’s pretty good.)

I then painted the runes with this mix of herbs, blessed oil and my own blood, whilst telling them to be strong and true.

When finished I decided to do a first attempt at divination, or perhaps rather communication with the gods through the runes. I asked Odin what lie in my immediate future, and got the reply through one single rune: othala. The meaning rang true in me, I knew immediately that it reffered to the house we’re about to build, the home it will be.

Almost not daring to ask, I then turned to the mother. The runes wont give a simple yes or no answer, of course, but I still had to know. Though I wasn’t sure how to phrase the question, I wanted to know if I am with child, or at least if I will have children some time soon. Once again I got one single rune as a reply: ingwaz.

Ingwaz. At first I was slightly baffled, not knowing what to make of it. So I reviewed my runic information and my heart jumped. “Male fertility, gestation, inner growth.” I didn’t know what gestation means (english is not my first language!) so I looked it up. Pregnancy. Pregnancy.

My heart was thumping so hard, I could barely believe I got such a positive answer to my question!

And oh, a short note on how I cast the runes. They were laying on a ceremonial plate and I (more or less on a hunch) started to rythmically move it up and down, making the runes jump and dance. When one rune suddenly jumped off the plate and onto the ground I had my answer. Had several runes hurled themselves off the plate I would of course have read them together, but this time I only got one rune for each question. Don’t ask me why I used this technique, it’s not something I’ve read about or anything, it just felt right so that’s what I did.

I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, but I really wish I am pregnant. I am longing so much for a child, we’ve been trying for so long now and now that the house is ready to be built and all… please, let me be with child. I want to trust the runes, ingwaz/gestation was as clear a sign as I could ever hope for, but as I said I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. Well… In a few days we’ll know. And if not this month then maybe the next. But I really hope it’s this month. Ingwaz, pregnancy. Please let it be true.

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