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Posts Tagged ‘Ancestors’

I am only becoming more and more certain that the spot we call our shrine, that I have mentioned and described in this blog several times already, really is a powerful spot. Even my atheist husband feels it, and strongly. The four big rocks, almost as tall as I am, cradling a fifth “altar” stone, about half the size. And underneath the altar stone, a natural cavity.

That cavity under there. It feels like a gateway. A portal. I still haven’t explored it fully but I just know what it is, what it means.

Offerings I normally place on the altar stone. I bring food, mead, beer. I light candles. I meditate, pray and just listen. The gateway underneath is not for offerings. Not normal ones, anyway, I think. Without anyone telling me, I just know, that I should leave an item in there to infuse it with power. I just know that if I need communicate with the other side, that gateway can carry a message. This I just know.

There is something twirling around the back of my head, this feeling I can’t shake. I think I shouldn’t be hogging this for my own use only. Not all have the luxuary of an open portal in their back yard. I have a hard time writing this because I do not wish to sound arrogant or self aggrandising but

I can’t even finish that sentence. It still isn’t clear.

Ancestors, embrace me.

Spirits, guide me.

Gods, be with me.

You who listen, help me find my voice. 

You who speak, help me understand.

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Change

Today has been a day of both sadness and strength. I have been closing one chapter, left an era of my life behind, and opened up for a new one. There have been tears, many tears, but they have felt good because I knew it was the right decision.

It was right on time. My darling husband cracked, tonight. All the stress got to him, all the exhaustion. He cried, and he fell. I am so glad I was here to hold him and pick him up. It’s time for me to be the strong one now.

When he was broken, crying and drunk, we sat outside and talked. For a long while, just talked. Remembered and felt. Talked about our home. Our connection to the land. And let me tell you, no one listening would ever think him a “cold” atheist. He spoke with such passion about the land, this piece of land, how we belong here, how it is a part of us. It was deeply spiritual in nature.

Before we went inside we went by our little shrine, and offered some beer for the ancestors. Husband poured it onto the altar stone and asked for help.

And then let’s not talk about how he started talking about the four chaos gods from 40k. *cough* I literally had to stop him from calling on Khorne, Slaanesh, Nurgle and Tzeentch. >.> Let’s blame the beer, alright?

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We went out for a private summer solstice blot, me and my husband. I had been thinking about a good location, a spot we can return to again and again, here on our little plot of land. There were possibilities but I hadn’t decided. My husband, who isn’t of my faith but respects it, came with me out to look. And he said, “What about those rocks up there?” He pointed out towards the wild ground just outside our land, towards the woods. “There is a spot up there that I think would be just right.”

He showed me to a large rock. It wasn’t flat, didn’t have the qualities of an altar, but it just felt right. We both stood there and looked, and both said that yes, this is right, this location.

Just as we had decided, I realized we should look at it from the other side. The ground is wild and overgrown, we could from where we stood only see a little bit. So we walked around it, and it felt as though it just clicked. There. The first rock was only one of several, there were four large rocks close to each other, reaching up to my chest at least. They stood in a slight arch, and in front of them stood a sightly lower, fifth rock. This was it.

We lit Mother’s and Father’s candles. We offered potent raspberry mead. To Father, to Mother, to any other God watching over us, and to the ancestors. For a good summer. For our family. For a child. For us to stand strong together even if no child comes.

It was beautiful. There are many words words to say and write but I believe I should leave it at that, for tonight. I wish you all a happy summer solstice, and a brilliant summer.

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