Archive for December, 2011

A couple of weeks ago I did a psychic excercise, in which I tried to identify the photo I was holding. All in all there were five photos, all containing different individuals that have meant a lot to me. Last time I repeated two sets of 20, the first one while just relaxing and the second one in light meditation. With the first set I got only 4 out of 20 correct, the second one 6 out of 20. This particular type of power (or whatever you’d like to call it) is not one which I’ve had appear spontaneously (unlike other stuff like dreaming the future, telepathy and encountering spirits) which is why I’m so curious to see if in fact this is something I could learn as well.

So now I felt it time to repeat the excercise and see if there was any improvement. Let me first say that it was a bit stupid of me to walk into the excercise thinking there should be improvement, wanting there to be improvement… With that thought in the back of my mind I found myself second-guessing every decision, and thus probably made it even harder for myself. With that said, I still feel that it made a good excercise.

Out of 20, I got 5 correct. Only 5, yes. Nothing in the numbers to suggest any psychic input, nor any improvement from last time. And maybe I’m just not gifted in this particular way?

But then again, the numbers aren’t all that matters. What about how I felt? Did I learn anything? YES!

First of all, I don’t get a sense of WHO is in the picture. Nope, not at all. That is surprising, I would have thought it to be the number one factor in identifying which photo I was holding. But no, what I mainly get a sense of seems to be the colour.

Had I known this in advance I would have choses the pics differently… But as it is now, I often seem to get it wrong just because of similarities in colour. For example I tend to mix up the pic of my grandma (wearing a light blue shirt and sitting in front of a blue-green wall) with the pic of my old friend Hanna (wearing a dark blue shirt and sitting by the blueish green ocean under a blue sky). Similarly, I mix up the pic of my other old friend (wearing a white shirt and with a white plastic bag on the table in front of her, and a white house in the background) with the pic of me together with the cats of my childhood (me wearing white, with a white wall behind and on a white bed).

So now I’m thinking I might have bit off more than I can chew with this particular excercise. If colour is what I first and foremost pick up, I should perhaps have started with identifying colours. I will return to this photo excercise a bit now and then, but at this point in time I feel it is too tricky. Can’t expect to run before I can walk, now can I?! I’ll try to find some colour cards or something similar to use for just colour identification. I’ll update you on how it all goes!

Have you ever tried something like this? I’d love to hear from you, and perhaps learn from your experiences! What is your technique? Choose whatever first pops into mind? Ask questions and listen for an answer? See colours? Or pick up emotional connections?


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Bird Woman!

Somehow I managed to forget to mention one of the most intruiging things about last night’s meditation. While I was speaking to grandpa and great grandma someone else appeared.

Following an impulse I looked to the right. Or how should I say, my ehteric body looked to the right allthough my physical body probably lay perfectly still. At this point I was so far into the meditation that my mental or etheric “body” (or whatever one would call it) felt as real and tangible as the physical counterpart. Anyhow, I looked to the right.

And to my surprise I saw an old lady. Really old. Small and hunched over, with her white hair pulled tight into a bun or something at the back of her head. Her face lined with so many wrinkles, her mouth tightly closed and her eyes firmly set on me.

No wait, not an old lady! A bird! A falcon, or a similar bird of prey. No wait, now she was a woman again. Or a bird. Somehow I realized she was both bird and woman.

Trying to find a matching pitcure of the bird I’m having a hard time finding out if it really was a falcon, or if it in fact was an eagle. The beak was large like on an eagle, yet the colouring of the bird was more like on a falcon (at least from what I could see, I only saw the head and neck!) with a yellowish brown. But now hold on, eagles can have that coloring too, can’t they?! (Sorry if this is sort of fragmented, but I’m searching the web for bird info while writing)

Sigh… watching a whole lot of pics of both falcons and eagles I realize that I can’t decide which one it was. There are just too many different kinds of both falcons and eagles! And I guess it could really have been a hawk as well, of some kind. But if I have to guess I’d say it was an eagle.

Now if you are an american you might think that’s a weird-looking eagle, but that’s actually the way eagles look around here… though they are incredibly rare and I’ve only seen one or two in real life.

I also tried googling “old lady” to find a pic similar to the lady I saw… now of course there was no true match but the these come quite close.

I have no idea who or what she was. Since I had called on my grandpa and great grandma I first thought she might be an even older ancestor, but as I realized that she shifted shape from woman to bird I hesitated in that interpretation… I don’t really know what she wanted, I didn’t catch a message from her. She felt benevolent yet had a certain kick-ass fierceness about her. Especially when in bird form… So if not an ancestor, then maybe a guardian spirit?

You know in norse mythology/conception of the world there was a being called a fylgja. The fylgja was mainly female, and acted like a type of guardian to a family, sometimes following them through many generations. The fylgja could be seen in both human and animal form… However, I am pretty sure the fylgja was usually seen as a young woman. Or perhaps that’s just what the young men of viking age scandinavia wanted to believe? =)

Though I am very interested in norse mythology and having very close personal ties to the scandinacian pre-christian world view, I just cannot see this bird-woman as a fylgja. Why? I have no idea, it just doesn’t feel like it. I would rather think she is some sort of mentor… perhaps showing up because I asked for help focusing and deciphering the bombardment of images I was receiving? Any other theories?

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For the last couple of weeks I’ve made a habit out of meditating right before I fall asleep, either sitting in bed or laying down, and welcoming sleep anytime it comes. I first begin by shifting my consciousness from bodypart to bodypart, leaving each part completely relaxed. Then I move my attention from my body to my spirit, acknowledging any feelings and thoughts before I can try to relax my mind as well.

Then I shift my consciousness even further back, into my soul. This is where it gets a bit challenging! In this relaxed state of mind and body I can sense my soul, or my “higher self” or whatever you’d like to call it, existing within yet also beyond my physical boundaries.  I feel it connecting to the rest of me by an cord of energy, almost like an umbillical, connected to solar plexus. Interestingly, I always feel it stretching back through my middle back rather than forward through chest or stomach. I follow it to what I feel is my soul. Pure energy and light. Me yet very much beyond me. I’ve not yet been able to shift my consciousness into my soul the way I can with the different body parts and the mind, but I get ever closer. I get to the cord, I follow it and come upon that being of light that is me, and I can’t get closer. Not yet at least. And maybe I never will?

Last night when I performed this bedtime meditation I felt a great need to communicate, and called on my grandpa and his mother. I felt them come, told them how much they are loved. As usual I was more or less bombarded by great multitude of images and feelings, all jumbled together. To much to make any sense of whatsoever, as it usually is. I asked for help to understand and listen, to make sense of all I picked up! And almost immediately I saw one of those whirling plates than acrobats may spin on the tip of their finger, or on a staff. I saw it spin, focused and clear, realizing the image stayed with me a lot longer than usual. A message, yes. After that it became easier to focus, I thought of the spinning, whirling…

I asked grandpa and great grandma if they had a message to my mother, and got a strong reply. Do not fear death, they said. Live without fear, and when her time comes they will come to her, be with her.

In the end, I felt myself starting to lift, my hands and arms moving out of the physical boundaries. I felt like a baby rocking back and forth, just before learning how to crawl. I am so close, so close.

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Last night I dreamt we found out i was pregnant. Please let this be a precog dream!  I’ve had  a bit of an upswing in precog dreams the last weeks so I wouldn’t be surprised, but at the same time I’ve been disappointed so many times…

Speaking of such, my mom and mother-in-law were chatting yesterday and drifted into the subject of precog dreams. Mom-in-law asked mom if she too sees the future in her dreams. Mom nodded and said that yes, it seems to run in our family.  “She got it from me, I got it from my father, he got it from his mother…”

At this point I jumped into the conversation, I just had to ask. “Did grandpa really have those kinds of dreams as well? I never knew, he didn’t tell me!”

Mom looked at me with a hint of sorrow in her eyes and explained that he did, yes. “He dreamt of me and what would come to be, but it was sad stuff that he didn’t want to share with everyone.”

I think mom is right about  where this “talent” comes from, though I am surprised to hear that grandpa would tell his daughter of such things. After all, he was such a practical and rational man! I remember once when he was still alive, when I asked him if he’d had any ghostly encounters in their old summer cottage (where both me and mom had experienced creepy ghostly things!) and he just laughed and refused to admit to such things being real. Yet mom had already told me that grandpa had in fact also experienced the haunting on at least one occasion. Which got me all confused, wondering if grandpa just wasn’t comfortable admitting that such things exist, especially to his teenage grandchild, or if mom had read too much into things? If so, what about him having precog dreams? Did he really or did mom just read too much into things because she wants our talent to have been inherited by her beloved father?

I’m still not sure of what I think of that whole question.  Though grandpa was definitely a practical and down-to-earth who never ever mentioned things like spirituality, fellow there were definitely sides to him that he kept to himself. For example, there was the dowsing rod. When I was just a kid asking lots of questions he told me how people in the past could locate water in the ground by using a wooden dowsing rod.

I still remember the light in his eyes and the fire in his voice when he told me about how magnificent his mother had been with it, describing how she got such a strong result that the rod almost

twisted out of her hands! When he said that he had inherited the ability but not as strongly I jumped up and down with excitement and begged him to show me.

So he located a suitable branch from a nearby tree and cut it into shape, and taught me how to use it. We found that I too had inherited the ability, and I had almost as strong a reaction as his mother had had. I also learned that my mom too had the ability, which made very happy, but that I seemed to be a bit stronger than her.

After a lot of practice that day I talked grandpa into doing a blind-test. Then I went out on a huge lawn on my own and searched for water, noting exactly where I got a response from the rod. Then I brought grandpa out onto the lawn and asked him to find water as well. After about a minute he had located that same stream, running exactly where I too had found it. After that there was no doubt in my mind that the dowsing ability was very real indeed.

There is much more to say about the dowsing rod but I think I will leave it there for now. Let me just conclude that I do believe mom was right, the ability we share probably came from grandpa and his mother. As I have told you before, I met her spirit at grandpa’s deathbed, and at the very moment he died she came to me with that message. In other words, she has at least occasionally been with us even after death, which makes me very very happy. I hope too meet her again some day!

I must also say that I am very happy that my mother-in-law sees my ability for what it is. She is a highly realistic, educated and practical woman, whom no-one would think believe in such things. But she takes my precog-dreams as a matter-of-fact, and I love her for it. She seems to have a slight ability herself (or not so slight, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just for the most part dormant) which is probably why she accepts my ability so easily. Now if she could just pass along that insight to her son… 😉 My hubby respects me and my beliefs, but does not belive in these abilities at all. He’s too much of a scientist. But hey, that’s probably just good, keeping me grounded and retaining a healthy scepticism!

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Since yesterday we are visiting my hubbies mother and father, celebrating Christmas together. And last night, I must say, was a very busy night! I dreamt more in one night than most people dreamt in a week, I think. =) And one of those dreams, a fun little precog dream, I thought I’d share with you.

In the dream my father-in-law came home with a fake bird he’d just bought. He was so proud and thought our cats would love it. He pushed a button or something and a horribly shrill singing started. The rest of us protested and claimed that that nasty sound would just frighten the cats! 

I woke up. Ate breakfast with the family. And then suddenly heard a horrible fake bird song. Turns out my father-in-law had really bought such a fake bird, and the song was nasty and shrill, and it did frighten the heck out of the cats! Poor darlings got so scared… Caspar hid under the sofa for several hours afterwards…

Merry Christmas everyone!

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I realized something today. As I sat on the phone at work, I scribbled away on a piece of paper. I’ve been thinking about the concept of automatic writing, wondering how on earth people manage to not influence what they are writing! Without much effort I let the pen do it’s thing across the paper, but I couldn’t stop putting my own thoughts and expectations into the words. I sighed and got frustrated, and while taking the next call I really just let my hand move without my interference.


As I looked down onto the paper, I had written 7. Over and over. Now I started getting really annoyed with myself, wishing my hand to accept the task and do some cool automatic writing for me! I took another call and continued to scribble. Seven. And again, seven. Hmpf… I gave up and quit trying.

But then, as I looked at my old scribbles from other days, I started to wonder. Today wasn’t the first time I’ve written the number seven without really thinking. I seem to have been doing it over and over and over, not in neat lines or contexts but jumbled in bunches, or in vertical lines, or halfway on top of one another, or just a solitary seven on its own… Then I realized that my attempt at automatic writing may not have failed at all. Maybe I have in fact been getting a message all along: 7

But what does seven mean? Why do I keep writing it? Even as I write this blog post I can’t help thinking “But of course I write sevens, that’s natural!” Uhm… is it only “natural” that I keep writing the same number day after day after day, without even noticing it?

Of course I googled “significance of number 7” and got the immediate response. Here’s a quote from the first website I looked at:

Seven:Sevens, like Threes, deal with magical forces. Sevens deal with esoteric, scholarly aspects of magic. Representative of scholarly activities, mystery, and the focused search for esoteric meanings. Seven deals with the activation of imagination and manifesting results in our lives through the use of conscious thought and awareness. Ruled by Saturn, Seven can represent impractical dreaming, but with a deeper understanding of the aspects of Seven, you can quite deftly utilize its magical vibration to your own benefit.



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I thought I’d share another memory that means a lot for me. This happened when I was a teenager, a regular afternoon when I was home alone.

I sat in the living room, writing in my diary. But then… as I wrote… everything sortof shifted. Imagine my surprise when I realized that the hand I was looking down on, the one holding the pen, wasn’t actually my hand! And I wasn’t writing in my own diary any more either.

I was completely conscious during this experience and aware of what was going on, and I was completely fascinated though at the same time a little spooked.

I just wasn’t me anymore. I was a young woman (perhaps 18-19 years old?), with the name Angelica Brunstedt. At the moment I was writing a letter, while flashbacks or memories past before my eyes.

I was about to marry a man I had just met. It was perfectly normal, and I was neither happy nor sad about it. In one of the flashbacks I remembered walking in a beautiful garden, wearing a flowing white summer dress. At the time I thought it was an early 20th century dress but now I realize it might be early 19th century as well. I wore a shawl that was borrowed and ment a lot to me.

Then, as sudden as it came, the moment was gone. The hand writing in the journal was once again my own hand. I was in completele shock, and I immediately wrote down what I just had experienced.

Then what happened, really? A past life? Or might some common circumstances have let me connect to another soul… though I didn’t recognize any common features in our lives it could be something as simple, unknown. Like me writing the same words as she had done, on the same day of the year and at the same time, or something like that. Could a connection be made spontaneously at such a moment, linking two otherwise unconnected people? Or do you think I must have a personal connection to her in some way? I have already looked through my family records and haven’t been able to find anyone with that name. But once again… could be a passed life? What do you think?

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